Hey all,
I found myself with my car left on the side of the road today. Gratefully, I wasn't killed yesterday: my serpentine belt and tensioner had snapped on the highway. Almost suddenly, I couldn't push brake down; the only way to stop the car was to slowly skid to a stop. It was very dangerous and I was uncertain what would happen
I would have tried to make it to my friend's house, just a few short minutes away, but when belts go, so does the whole car. My steering wheel would't turn. I was left with no choice but to leave my car at the side of the road and find help the next day
This was one of the more frightening moments I've ever experienced, because it very viscerally showed me what a lack of control meant. If I had not reacted quickly enough or risked driving the car further, I would have likely been in a bad accident. I feel distinctly blessed that much worse didn't happen
Luckily, I did have a good friend (more like a brother) who could give me his time to fix the car, on the highway, amidst a downpour of rain and an almost incessant rush of cars going past (the longest period of inactivity may have been literally 30 seconds). The parts cost roughly $80 and we fixed it within a few hours
I've driven this car with a constant fear for the last few years. It's older, and although the engine is sound, it has caused me much grief with it's persistent issues. Many of these are the familiar rut of an old car but that is precisely the problem
I don't have the means to be vigilant about fixes, and so I must live in a constant state of preparation for the fluxes. Rather than getting angry during situations like this, I've learned to gather equanimity and use it to guide me to making change in my own life. The next car I have will be much better maintained, and the call of this ashram is to get myself in better order financially, mentally, and spiritually
I won't have to live in fear of my own instruments. This is not to say that we must insulate ourselves from all pain and stress; indeed, much of it can be healthy and buffers against atrophy of mind and body. It is to say that there are only so many times you can cheat death and cataclysm. I've been lucky enough to "learn the hard way" without cracking my skull open. It's a process I will apply to all of my life's learning, as it means that even the smallest moments can have magnified meaning!
Sunday, March 13, 2016
Thought of the Day, 3-12-2016: Walking the Woods
I took to walking in the Chagrin Metropark Reservation with a friend late Saturday night. It was a hike of intensity, probably lasting about 3 hours and 10+miles, in motion most of the time. Chagrin is a beautiful location if you've never been there. It is worth many walks!
One question posed: Why is it, given the mystery and solemnity of night in nature, that we close off these parks during nighttime? There is a certain feeling of a kind of late walk, unencumbered by the exhaustive sounds of vehicles and urbanized life in the background. When and while those begin to slow, nature begins to grow on you
It feels much more purposed. Finding your way amidst the darkness is more challenging. It forces introspection. Yet we did not see another soul walking the park. This leads me further to believe that the greatest experiences are often right in front of us; very many just choose to ignore them and walk beaten paths or the snow already impressed upon by other feet. To maintain sanity, though, you do have to break from time to time
One question posed: Why is it, given the mystery and solemnity of night in nature, that we close off these parks during nighttime? There is a certain feeling of a kind of late walk, unencumbered by the exhaustive sounds of vehicles and urbanized life in the background. When and while those begin to slow, nature begins to grow on you
It feels much more purposed. Finding your way amidst the darkness is more challenging. It forces introspection. Yet we did not see another soul walking the park. This leads me further to believe that the greatest experiences are often right in front of us; very many just choose to ignore them and walk beaten paths or the snow already impressed upon by other feet. To maintain sanity, though, you do have to break from time to time
Friday, March 11, 2016
3-11-16 Thought of the Day: Critique and Creation, Praise and Potential
Hey all,
It has dawned on me feckless it is to offer praise without any kind of nudging. Take, for example, the time you gave a speech or presentation you may have put much time into but did not feel great about upon finishing. This is very often the case, as it can be difficult to ascertain the engagement and enthusiasm of a crowd when we are immersed in the emotions of speaking. Outside of canned applause and cheering, which are usually relegated to bigger arenas (political campaign speeches and big conferences), how do we gauge how well we did?
The simplest answer is to talk to folks in the crowd, especially those of whom have opinions that you may value. You finish and the event raps up. One of the audience members comes up to you and says something along the likes of "Good speech, man... You are really charismatic [insert adjective for this purpose]." You say thanks and perhaps small talk a bit and that line of conversation probably repeats itself a few times
Now imagine how difficult it will be the next time you go to write and prepare that speech. You are trying to get the right vocal variety but your recollection of how the audience responded to variegated tone is a bit hazy. You are looking for the most resonant words but again can't recall what the audience went for last time
You scan the feedback from the people spoken to afterwards. Again, you come up empty, and therein lies the problem. They didn't provide you feedback, but they did "feed" you information that sent you backwards
When we lavish people with empty and nebulous praise, we commit a double sin. First, we create a false sense of hope and contentment that may be hard to build on. Second, we do not leave the door open for much growth, effectively ingraining the sense that there is nothing to critique, and therefore nothing to improve. We effectively tell people that they are just awesome without helping them discern how! It would be like a 3rd grade teacher giving their student back a paper with a grade of A- and writing "Good job!" at the end, without a single correction throughout the course of the paper!
When we truly believe in people, our praise must push potential, our critique catalyzing creation. If we recognize someone is precocious, it's a matter of showing them how much brighter their future could loom. The critique, then, helps to crystallize that alternative vision, making shortcomings strengths and providing a plan for how to do so
Good feedback is intrinsic to effective leadership and mentoring. It is the often split-moment difference between success and spoil. Make sure to have a well of it, ready for any situation--- just never tell others that they just did well!
It has dawned on me feckless it is to offer praise without any kind of nudging. Take, for example, the time you gave a speech or presentation you may have put much time into but did not feel great about upon finishing. This is very often the case, as it can be difficult to ascertain the engagement and enthusiasm of a crowd when we are immersed in the emotions of speaking. Outside of canned applause and cheering, which are usually relegated to bigger arenas (political campaign speeches and big conferences), how do we gauge how well we did?
The simplest answer is to talk to folks in the crowd, especially those of whom have opinions that you may value. You finish and the event raps up. One of the audience members comes up to you and says something along the likes of "Good speech, man... You are really charismatic [insert adjective for this purpose]." You say thanks and perhaps small talk a bit and that line of conversation probably repeats itself a few times
Now imagine how difficult it will be the next time you go to write and prepare that speech. You are trying to get the right vocal variety but your recollection of how the audience responded to variegated tone is a bit hazy. You are looking for the most resonant words but again can't recall what the audience went for last time
You scan the feedback from the people spoken to afterwards. Again, you come up empty, and therein lies the problem. They didn't provide you feedback, but they did "feed" you information that sent you backwards
When we lavish people with empty and nebulous praise, we commit a double sin. First, we create a false sense of hope and contentment that may be hard to build on. Second, we do not leave the door open for much growth, effectively ingraining the sense that there is nothing to critique, and therefore nothing to improve. We effectively tell people that they are just awesome without helping them discern how! It would be like a 3rd grade teacher giving their student back a paper with a grade of A- and writing "Good job!" at the end, without a single correction throughout the course of the paper!
When we truly believe in people, our praise must push potential, our critique catalyzing creation. If we recognize someone is precocious, it's a matter of showing them how much brighter their future could loom. The critique, then, helps to crystallize that alternative vision, making shortcomings strengths and providing a plan for how to do so
Good feedback is intrinsic to effective leadership and mentoring. It is the often split-moment difference between success and spoil. Make sure to have a well of it, ready for any situation--- just never tell others that they just did well!
Thursday, March 10, 2016
Thought of the Day, 3-10-16: No Such Thing as Selfishness
Hey all,
I was doing a walk tonight around the neighborhood, amidst the rain. I had a 45 pound weight vest on. The first loop of the walk was a simple walk; the second half was ten steps, then a squat jump
The intent of a walk like this is to clear the mind. I had a lot of "weight" on my mind and the vest added to that. One of the learning goals at the ashram will be to learn to let that space around the mind become uncluttered, to take all that weight and turn it into weighty, focused thought
Naturally, friendships came up, especially the ones I made during college and in the 3 years after. Do you ever experience immense growth and the people you use to associate with just evolve? Maybe they change but they don't progress? When you have that seeded in your mind, it may not be a bad time to reevaluate your friendships and attachments and seek to start anew
One particularly came to mind. I had questioned an action I felt was immature, asking "Should that really be a priority right now", knowing that this friend had intended to make big changes in 2016 and was prepared to embark on spiritual journeys. The actions did not meet the words and was something I've come to mature past (this friend is a bit older). The reply was something like, "I don't even care, man"
We are constantly inundated with platitudes like "I'm doing me", "Gotta practice self-love and care", "creating my best self" and other "lifesets" or "mindstyles" (lifestyle + mindsets). These are often indulged with the utmost selfishness; instead of creating the best self in order to eventually also create the best world, instead of developing the best personal practices and health so that you can rigorously apply them to give our best to the world, it just ends with workouts at the gym and an eternal vanity of sorts
We have to really consider whether the idea of selfishness really has any merits, however. Myriad scientific studies and historical wisdom show us that we need strong social bonds to survive and thrive. They are beneficial to our brain and bodily health. The isolated genius and the hermit, i.e. Emerson and his Walden pond, are illusory myths. It need not mean we are social butterflies, but even with small relationships with tight circles, part of us becomes whole
Given that, is it even possible for someone to be selfish? If you only care about yourself, you truly don't care about anyone, including yourself. For there ever to be friendship, there must be authentic care in both directions, or else the relationship will not be sustained long. Caring for others, then, is crucial to your own wellness. If you think you only care about yourself, you are actually doing no one well; you actually care little about yourself because you've immediately shut avenues into highways of your own potential
Let's stop this illusion of selfishness. The most "selfish" folks indeed love themselves least. We must fill that vacuum and provide love unconditionally, as conduits of care
I was doing a walk tonight around the neighborhood, amidst the rain. I had a 45 pound weight vest on. The first loop of the walk was a simple walk; the second half was ten steps, then a squat jump
The intent of a walk like this is to clear the mind. I had a lot of "weight" on my mind and the vest added to that. One of the learning goals at the ashram will be to learn to let that space around the mind become uncluttered, to take all that weight and turn it into weighty, focused thought
Naturally, friendships came up, especially the ones I made during college and in the 3 years after. Do you ever experience immense growth and the people you use to associate with just evolve? Maybe they change but they don't progress? When you have that seeded in your mind, it may not be a bad time to reevaluate your friendships and attachments and seek to start anew
One particularly came to mind. I had questioned an action I felt was immature, asking "Should that really be a priority right now", knowing that this friend had intended to make big changes in 2016 and was prepared to embark on spiritual journeys. The actions did not meet the words and was something I've come to mature past (this friend is a bit older). The reply was something like, "I don't even care, man"
We are constantly inundated with platitudes like "I'm doing me", "Gotta practice self-love and care", "creating my best self" and other "lifesets" or "mindstyles" (lifestyle + mindsets). These are often indulged with the utmost selfishness; instead of creating the best self in order to eventually also create the best world, instead of developing the best personal practices and health so that you can rigorously apply them to give our best to the world, it just ends with workouts at the gym and an eternal vanity of sorts
We have to really consider whether the idea of selfishness really has any merits, however. Myriad scientific studies and historical wisdom show us that we need strong social bonds to survive and thrive. They are beneficial to our brain and bodily health. The isolated genius and the hermit, i.e. Emerson and his Walden pond, are illusory myths. It need not mean we are social butterflies, but even with small relationships with tight circles, part of us becomes whole
Given that, is it even possible for someone to be selfish? If you only care about yourself, you truly don't care about anyone, including yourself. For there ever to be friendship, there must be authentic care in both directions, or else the relationship will not be sustained long. Caring for others, then, is crucial to your own wellness. If you think you only care about yourself, you are actually doing no one well; you actually care little about yourself because you've immediately shut avenues into highways of your own potential
Let's stop this illusion of selfishness. The most "selfish" folks indeed love themselves least. We must fill that vacuum and provide love unconditionally, as conduits of care
Wednesday, March 9, 2016
Morning Walk: A Routine Challenge
Posture good, arms held up, breathing good, and a smile.....
I added a morning walk to the routine! As science has been pretty consistent in showing, exercise is crucial to a healthy brain and creativity. It allows your brain to think diffusely, letting in thoughts and allowing for relaxation. You get a chance to observe the natural world. The commotion of a city comes to you
My walk was for about 15 minutes, amidst a number of other morning tasks, placed at a time to give me a refresher from more challenging mental work. I went about walking in a way that utilized a few different muscles. Here's how (and something you ought to try):
- Good posture. Chest out, shoulders up, back straight. Stand tall and do this intentionally for the duration of the walk
- Keep your arms held up at your side, almost in a "Jesus" pose. They will be in a straight line at the height of your shoulders. This will build strength, endurance, and fortitude, because it will hurt about halfway through. If the hold becomes too painful, do the same but put your arms either out in front of you (a "zombie" pose) or above the head
- Breath right. Slowly in, slowly out. Be in control!
- Keep a large smile plastered on your face. This may engage others as an externality, but the intent is to get your day started positively (the science is behind smiling too!)
Doing the door of these together sets the stage for a productive and positive day. It brings to you balance (posture), strength (the arms), tranquility (the breath) and happiness (the smile). This is hard to do all together without missing one but with practice, it will all just be one powerful movement. Try it and let me know how it goes!
Tuesday, March 8, 2016
Why I Don't Use Periods and Why You Shouldn't Either, Period
Hey all,
I've only been at this blog for about 2 weeks now but as a matter of function, it makes sense for me to clarify how it will operate and how I write. I am taken with a vast gratitude for all who have stayed with me for the first few weeks, as I am really just beginning to become comfortable with blogging in general and creative writing as a daily discipline. You are great motivation!
With that said, I'll always do my best to explain some of my idiosyncrasies. I'm a very eccentric person; often that has the effect of turning people away quickly or makes me most affable. As I've grown, I've been able to see that it's really all a matter of communication. If you are unique, your style will flourish one day. It's just a matter of taking that uniqueness and sharing it uniquely with your unique subject. The difference between idiosyncrasy and idiosyn"crazy" is the capacity to put it all in a way others can understand. If you share yourself in such a way as to only appease yourself, then how can anyone else bother to be interested?
Speaking to those idiosyncrasies, many of you likely noticed what looks to be a glaring editing problem. It's something taught very early in school. No, it's not font type (do young gradeschoolers even write papers in ink anymore?!). It's not odd capitalization. What you see comes at the end of a paragraph or a sentence. My thoughts end without periods! [note: of course I will use them if I am in a professional role that requires it]
The period, as used at the end of a paragraph or discrete sentence, has bothered me for a few years now. As I began to use social media more, it's use became quaint. I began perceiving it as a way for people to attempt to seem forceful or official in vain. I could see it almost as a certain kind of arrogance of perfectionism and 'professionalism' that is indeed rather hollow. Mostly, it just isn't really necessary!
So, let's look at why it bothers me functionally. I will concede its use as a way to connect sentences. It stops one and starts another, preventing grand collisions of ideas and cultivating flow. We can pause, gather, and saunter on to the next thought. That is just about where its usefulness ends
Why the necessity at the end of a paragraph? Isn't it a bit redundant, considering that there will already be a break and jump to the next paragraph, or a conclusion to the piece as a whole? I see it as almost insulting the reader's intelligence and giving them a false sense of conclusiveness: if they believe your writing is compelling, they will make that call themselves
Beyond simple agitation and superfluousness, the use of end periods (this will be the working term, to differentiate from the use of periods between sentences) also has distinct problems for how we view and share knowledge and the author. If we can reconsider how they are used, we can enter into a modus operandi that encourages humility, creativity, and the collective duty to create culture and public discourse
In essence, we must always remind ourselves of how little we do know, how much more we need to know, and the potential that we probably won't ever get there. This is a menace you can smile at, for it is one that shows that knowledge is boundless, but that with the knowledge of all the books already created, in confluence with the understanding that countless others have made the intellectual contributions of the book, we know that there is the potential within to be bountiful. Even the smallest of contributions can be life's bounty. You will feel less bounty hunted when these realizations set in
So what might this have to do with meager end periods, you ask? That period is a menace too. It stares at the reader and screams "I'm final." It dares you to try to have agency, saying "this, and only this, is imperative." That imperative impairs our duty to continue the authorship, to be propulsive in thoughts. The ideal author does not generate certitude, but a multitude of more thoughts
It closes the door on creation. If the sentence is ended in a period, it's close-looped. Nothing else can enter in. No one else can author history, which is, after all, the sum of ideas. It is ultimately a roadblock; or, as it sits on the page, a landmine in the way of progress. In an increasingly diverse and global world, it exudes a hermetic hold on these ideas needed to advance humankind
If we kill the end period, then what shall replace it? After hundreds of years being used in this way, how would we move forward? How could it all make sense?
The scholar of Islam, Tariq Ramadan, is another author I've been introduced to but have yet to peer into his sea of ideas. Recently, I opened his book, The Quest for Meaning, and just within his dedication, I was already finding fish. He writes,
I leave my thoughts and prayers with the end period's family. May she rest most deeply and peacefully, a figment of a less enlightened time
I've only been at this blog for about 2 weeks now but as a matter of function, it makes sense for me to clarify how it will operate and how I write. I am taken with a vast gratitude for all who have stayed with me for the first few weeks, as I am really just beginning to become comfortable with blogging in general and creative writing as a daily discipline. You are great motivation!
With that said, I'll always do my best to explain some of my idiosyncrasies. I'm a very eccentric person; often that has the effect of turning people away quickly or makes me most affable. As I've grown, I've been able to see that it's really all a matter of communication. If you are unique, your style will flourish one day. It's just a matter of taking that uniqueness and sharing it uniquely with your unique subject. The difference between idiosyncrasy and idiosyn"crazy" is the capacity to put it all in a way others can understand. If you share yourself in such a way as to only appease yourself, then how can anyone else bother to be interested?
Speaking to those idiosyncrasies, many of you likely noticed what looks to be a glaring editing problem. It's something taught very early in school. No, it's not font type (do young gradeschoolers even write papers in ink anymore?!). It's not odd capitalization. What you see comes at the end of a paragraph or a sentence. My thoughts end without periods! [note: of course I will use them if I am in a professional role that requires it]
The period, as used at the end of a paragraph or discrete sentence, has bothered me for a few years now. As I began to use social media more, it's use became quaint. I began perceiving it as a way for people to attempt to seem forceful or official in vain. I could see it almost as a certain kind of arrogance of perfectionism and 'professionalism' that is indeed rather hollow. Mostly, it just isn't really necessary!
So, let's look at why it bothers me functionally. I will concede its use as a way to connect sentences. It stops one and starts another, preventing grand collisions of ideas and cultivating flow. We can pause, gather, and saunter on to the next thought. That is just about where its usefulness ends
Why the necessity at the end of a paragraph? Isn't it a bit redundant, considering that there will already be a break and jump to the next paragraph, or a conclusion to the piece as a whole? I see it as almost insulting the reader's intelligence and giving them a false sense of conclusiveness: if they believe your writing is compelling, they will make that call themselves
Beyond simple agitation and superfluousness, the use of end periods (this will be the working term, to differentiate from the use of periods between sentences) also has distinct problems for how we view and share knowledge and the author. If we can reconsider how they are used, we can enter into a modus operandi that encourages humility, creativity, and the collective duty to create culture and public discourse
The Death of the Period
The world lost a titan of literature and philosophy just a few weeks ago. Though my delving into his work is scant, Umberto Eco has always one high praise from authors I love. His book, Baudolino, sits ready to be read by my recliner. One of the most liberating ideas I've ever been introduced to is Eco's Antilibrary. Originally relayed to me by Nassim Nicholas Taleb (a seminal statistician and philosopher also worth reading) in his classic book The Black Swan, I have tried to expound upon it ever sense. Taleb describes the antilibrary concept (via Brain Pickings):
"The writer Umberto Eco belongs to that small class of scholars who are encyclopedic, insightful, and nondull. He is the owner of a large personal library (containing thirty thousand books), and separates visitors into two categories: those who react with “Wow! Signore professore dottore Eco, what a library you have! How many of these books have you read?” and the others — a very small minority — who get the point that a private library is not an ego-boosting appendage but a research tool. Read books are far less valuable than unread ones. The library should contain as much of what you do not know as your financial means, mortgage rates, and the currently tight real-estate market allows you to put there. You will accumulate more knowledge and more books as you grow older, and the growing number of unread books on the shelves will look at you menacingly. Indeed, the more you know, the larger the rows of unread books. Let us call this collection of unread books an anti library. [period was left in by me; I do not approve!]"
In essence, we must always remind ourselves of how little we do know, how much more we need to know, and the potential that we probably won't ever get there. This is a menace you can smile at, for it is one that shows that knowledge is boundless, but that with the knowledge of all the books already created, in confluence with the understanding that countless others have made the intellectual contributions of the book, we know that there is the potential within to be bountiful. Even the smallest of contributions can be life's bounty. You will feel less bounty hunted when these realizations set in
So what might this have to do with meager end periods, you ask? That period is a menace too. It stares at the reader and screams "I'm final." It dares you to try to have agency, saying "this, and only this, is imperative." That imperative impairs our duty to continue the authorship, to be propulsive in thoughts. The ideal author does not generate certitude, but a multitude of more thoughts
It closes the door on creation. If the sentence is ended in a period, it's close-looped. Nothing else can enter in. No one else can author history, which is, after all, the sum of ideas. It is ultimately a roadblock; or, as it sits on the page, a landmine in the way of progress. In an increasingly diverse and global world, it exudes a hermetic hold on these ideas needed to advance humankind
If we kill the end period, then what shall replace it? After hundreds of years being used in this way, how would we move forward? How could it all make sense?
The scholar of Islam, Tariq Ramadan, is another author I've been introduced to but have yet to peer into his sea of ideas. Recently, I opened his book, The Quest for Meaning, and just within his dedication, I was already finding fish. He writes,
To the semi-colon; despite the diversity of languages, there is some form of punctuation that is universal and common to them all. In a world of simplified communications and simplistic binary judgements, the semi-colon reconciles us with the plurality of propositions, and with the welcome nuance of the sentence and of complex realitiesThe choice is here to consciously decide to use more semi-colons and more commas to create worlds of possibility and to make dissonant thoughts become resonant. The choice is here to use the exclamation point, to take pride and joy in our intellectual vigor and to transfer it unto others! The choice is here to ask questions, for our anti-libraries are only to grow more menacing as we grow older; we can write as if the question mark is tattooed on our palms, constantly guiding our work. Or we can choose to let it stream, to make the ultimate investment, and present the ultimate motion of trust, in our reader: that we have the capacity to create meaning together, and we will not do it without each other
I leave my thoughts and prayers with the end period's family. May she rest most deeply and peacefully, a figment of a less enlightened time
Thought of the Day: 3-7-2016: Well on the Way?
Frequently, action will be encouraged and supported by friends and family with the phrase "You are well on the way." This is indubitably a phrase with good intention. It often evokes feelings of happiness and purpose. It also ought to be examined further
A phrase like this must force ourselves to ask, "Am I actually well as I take on this next challenge/initiative?" Am I in a state of wellness that will foster my next steps? Or will I hastily jump into something without being a strong enough version of me, thereby likely setting up for a failure that will make me myopic about the future, rather than calcifying my assiduous resolve in the future?
This is a very large reason I decided to commit to the Sivanada Ashram. Yes, I've done a lot of things that have made me grow and I know an incandescent future looms for me. However, I didn't see a lot of my fundamentals as sound. I lack discipline, focus, and the spiritual grounding that I will need to accomplish grand ambitions for the rest of my life. So I decided to be well on my way!
A phrase like this must force ourselves to ask, "Am I actually well as I take on this next challenge/initiative?" Am I in a state of wellness that will foster my next steps? Or will I hastily jump into something without being a strong enough version of me, thereby likely setting up for a failure that will make me myopic about the future, rather than calcifying my assiduous resolve in the future?
This is a very large reason I decided to commit to the Sivanada Ashram. Yes, I've done a lot of things that have made me grow and I know an incandescent future looms for me. However, I didn't see a lot of my fundamentals as sound. I lack discipline, focus, and the spiritual grounding that I will need to accomplish grand ambitions for the rest of my life. So I decided to be well on my way!
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