Thought of the Day, 3-10-16: No Such Thing as Selfishness

Hey all,

I was doing a walk tonight around the neighborhood, amidst the rain.  I had a 45 pound weight vest on.  The first loop of the walk was a simple walk; the second half was ten steps, then a squat jump

The intent of a walk like this is to clear the mind.  I had a lot of "weight" on my mind and the vest added to that.  One of the learning goals at the ashram will be to learn to let that space around the mind become uncluttered, to take all that weight and turn it into weighty, focused thought

Naturally, friendships came up, especially the ones I made during college and in the 3 years after.  Do you ever experience immense growth and the people you use to associate with just evolve?  Maybe they change but they don't progress?  When you have that seeded in your mind, it may not be a bad time to reevaluate your friendships and attachments and seek to start anew

One particularly came to mind.  I had questioned an action I felt was immature, asking "Should that really be a priority right now", knowing that this friend had intended to make big changes in 2016 and was prepared to embark on spiritual journeys.  The actions did not meet the words and was something I've come to mature past (this friend is a bit older).  The reply was something like, "I don't even care, man"

We are constantly inundated with platitudes like "I'm doing me", "Gotta practice self-love and care",  "creating my best self" and other "lifesets" or "mindstyles" (lifestyle + mindsets).  These are often indulged with the utmost selfishness; instead of creating the best self in order to eventually also create the best world, instead of developing the best personal practices and health so that you can rigorously apply them to give our best to the world, it just ends with workouts at the gym and an eternal vanity of sorts

We have to really consider whether the idea of selfishness really has any merits, however.   Myriad scientific studies and historical wisdom show us that we need strong social bonds to survive and thrive.  They are beneficial to our brain and bodily health.  The isolated genius and the hermit, i.e. Emerson and his Walden pond, are illusory myths.  It need not mean we are social butterflies, but even with small relationships with tight circles, part of us becomes whole

Given that, is it even possible for someone to be selfish?  If you only care about yourself, you truly don't care about anyone, including yourself.  For there ever to be friendship, there must be authentic care in both directions, or else the relationship will not be sustained long.  Caring for others, then, is crucial to your own wellness.  If you think you only care about yourself, you are actually doing no one well; you actually care little about yourself because you've immediately shut avenues into highways of your own potential

Let's stop this illusion of selfishness.  The most "selfish" folks indeed love themselves least.  We must fill that vacuum and provide love unconditionally, as conduits of care